Monday, February 13, 2012

Marriage Letters: Patience

Join me and Q, along with Amber@The Run A Muck as we write our Marriage Letters every Monday.  

Q,
      How do I write a "love" letter to you about patience after a day of fighting.  Our relationship takes a lot of patience.  I don't even know what to say.  It's Sunday so technically I can wait to write this tomorrow when maybe I'm in a better mood...when maybe you don't get on my nerves so much.  I just said to you that if I can't say anything nice I probably shouldn't say anything at all.  I guess this can be my transparency post for the week.

I have to have a lot of patience with you.  You have to have a lot of patience with me.  I'm not sure you understand the demands of a stay-at-home mom and I sure don't understand the demands of a being the chaplain of the Eugene Mission.  We often plead our case to one another hoping one day the other will agree on who has the more demanding "job".

At the moment, it's your work weekend which means you are at work at 6 at night on a Sunday.  You didn't get a weekend.  I know, It stinks for me too.  At the moment, I'm listening to music while Journey plays on the table...and when I say play I mean that she is digging in my bowl of random junk trying to find things that will fit in her mouth.  I've already had to clean a whole bag of potato chips off the carpet in the den.  I'm not exaggerating when I say whole, it was the WHOLE ENTIRE BAG OF CHIPS!  You had to preach this morning.  I had to get two girls ready for church without you...which I HATE.  I'm not sure how single mom's make it.  I couldn't imagine life without you.  We don't have horrible lives.  We are actually blessed.  Sometimes I just let the little things get to me.


I'm not sure how much this was about patience.... My emotions are on my sleeve and running wild tonight.  Days like today I need you to have patience with me.  I need you to listen to me rant and rave about silly things that you can't fix.  I need to be able to let out some of this frustration with you so that I don't hold it in and take it out on the kids when it's not their fault.  If I can't be honest with you, who can I be honest with?  These days I feel like I share everything.  My kids, my home, my husband, my life...I feel like the boundary lines are so thin I can't see them anymore.  You say we are living more like Jesus now than ever.  I just want to be able to curl up beside you, and only you.  I want to be able to tell you my secrets, only you.  I want to lay in bed and giggle as we talk about the day after the kids are asleep.  I don't want to lose all this as we search to find out what it means to be Jesus to this community.   I need you.
                   -A


5 comments:

Tara said...

my husband and I work opposite shifts...so boy, do I feel this!! Some days the understanding that I am lacking is just my need for him to just hold me. Hang in there. I moan along with you over the potato chips!!

HopeUnbroken said...

past the frustration, past the troubles. . . always seeing each other as the safe place. this is the gift.
relating to so much, and loving how you bring it all back around to the positive you have in each other.
blessings to you as you continue your week!
steph

Audrey said...

Thanks Ladies for stopping by and leaving a comment. I'm loving these Marriage Letters post. I love being transparent about our relationship. Relationships are hard but its a beautiful thing when after all these years he's the one I want to be around the most. It's nice to still need him.

Amber@theRunaMuck said...

This letter is so good to me because it's a pleading. I feel like I stay so often in the realm of pleading to Seth, to God, to my children.

Patience really acknowledges that "already but not yet" about us, doesn't it?

keLi said...

knew that i'd relate to this one, from the very first line. it's great to see your honesty here...