Join me and Q, along with Amber@The Run A Muck as we write our Marriage Letters every Monday.
How do I write a "love" letter to you about patience after a day of fighting. Our relationship takes a lot of patience. I don't even know what to say. It's Sunday so technically I can wait to write this tomorrow when maybe I'm in a better mood...when maybe you don't get on my nerves so much. I just said to you that if I can't say anything nice I probably shouldn't say anything at all. I guess this can be my transparency post for the week.
I have to have a lot of patience with you. You have to have a lot of patience with me. I'm not sure you understand the demands of a stay-at-home mom and I sure don't understand the demands of a being the chaplain of the Eugene Mission. We often plead our case to one another hoping one day the other will agree on who has the more demanding "job".
At the moment, it's your work weekend which means you are at work at 6 at night on a Sunday. You didn't get a weekend. I know, It stinks for me too. At the moment, I'm listening to music while Journey plays on the table...and when I say play I mean that she is digging in my bowl of random junk trying to find things that will fit in her mouth. I've already had to clean a whole bag of potato chips off the carpet in the den. I'm not exaggerating when I say whole, it was the WHOLE ENTIRE BAG OF CHIPS! You had to preach this morning. I had to get two girls ready for church without you...which I HATE. I'm not sure how single mom's make it. I couldn't imagine life without you. We don't have horrible lives. We are actually blessed. Sometimes I just let the little things get to me.
I'm not sure how much this was about patience.... My emotions are on my sleeve and running wild tonight. Days like today I need you to have patience with me. I need you to listen to me rant and rave about silly things that you can't fix. I need to be able to let out some of this frustration with you so that I don't hold it in and take it out on the kids when it's not their fault. If I can't be honest with you, who can I be honest with? These days I feel like I share everything. My kids, my home, my husband, my life...I feel like the boundary lines are so thin I can't see them anymore. You say we are living more like Jesus now than ever. I just want to be able to curl up beside you, and only you. I want to be able to tell you my secrets, only you. I want to lay in bed and giggle as we talk about the day after the kids are asleep. I don't want to lose all this as we search to find out what it means to be Jesus to this community. I need you.