Marriage Letters: I knew you loved me when

Join me and Q, along with Amber @ The Run a Muck as we write Marriage Letters on Mondays.

Q,
   I'm not sure when I first knew you loved me...  Was it after our day in Mentone? Or was it actually years later when I finally let you go so that you could realize what you wanted?  I remember there was a change in you, in the way you needed me like I needed you. I knew you loved me then.

   I knew you loved me when I went to Ireland and you wrote me letters to open every day I was there.   I knew you loved me when you proposed, and as we made wedding plans.  I knew you loved me when after only 3 months of us being married, I came home telling you that I wanted to have a baby and you said okay.

   I knew you loved me in those years of trying to have a baby and when we finally did have a baby and miscarried, I knew you loved me more.  You hurt for me because you knew I wanted a baby so bad.

   I knew you loved me those early months of having a new baby.  I looked horrible.  I acted horrible. You were always so patient with me.  You struggled with me but I knew you loved me.  You stuck with me.  I knew you loved me when I expressed that I wanted to have another baby.  You said, "lets adopt" Because you knew everything about pregnancy was out of your control and you couldn't stand seeing me in pain knowing there was nothing you could do.  I also knew you loved me when you encouraged me to quit my job so that I could be a stay-at-home-mom.

    I knew you loved me when you asked my opinion about us moving to Oregon.  You wanted me to be happy.  I knew you loved me when late one night we got in a really big fight and you didn't leave.  You were honest with me.  You went outside and sat in the grass until you calmed down and then you came back in.  I love that we can disagree but in the end I always know you love me.  We seem to always be able to work things out.  Sometimes I don't like it when you're honest with me but that's when I know you love me also.

   I knew you loved me this weekend while you took care of all 3 of us girls while we were sick.  You were pretty much up all night.  Honestly I was so amazed at what all you did and how well you took care of us.  Seriously there aren't enough words to say about how thankful I am for all you did this weekend.

  Thank you for loving me for me.
                                             -A

Marriage Letters: My Job - Your Job

Join me and Q along with Amber @ The Run a Muck as we write marriage letters on Mondays.

Q,
   Let's face it, I'm not sure who has the harder Job.  I would love to be the selfless wife and say that you do but then there are days that I would for sure change my mind and argue that I do indeed have the harder job.  I do know one thing for sure.  I REALLY, REALLY, REALLY, appreciate that you go out and work a job where you get paid.  I appreciate that you provide financially for our family because we know that this life of a stay-at-home mom doesn't pay the bills.

   I do know the sacrifice you make for this family.  I know the stress that comes with that.  Thank you so much for always encouraging me to be at home with the girls.  I know sometimes this life would be easier if I would go out and get a job but you understand the sacrifice we are both willing to make.  I LOVE my job.  I love being able to stay at home with the girls everyday.  Thank you.

  Thank you for understanding when you come home and the house is a mess.  I'm glad you don't give me a hard time when I don't feel like cooking every night...even though I'm sure that is in the job description of a stay-at-home mom.  A lot of times you have to pull the load of both of our jobs...like the fact that I HATE going grocery shopping.  So many times you offer to go grocery shopping for me.  You cook quite a bit also and I love you for that.  I love that your expectations of me as a stay-at-home mom are not so high that I feel like I'm failing everyday. 

  Thank you for trusting the Lord enough to follow Him.  To move our family across the county and have to apply for jobs all over again.  I will always love you for that.  As hard as it has been living so far away from Alabama it's also been so rewarding.  You get paid to work with the homeless now.  Who would have thought?  You really do love those guys and are so willing to make them apart of your everyday life.  I know your job isn't easy but I'm so proud of you.  I'm so proud to call you my husband.  Thanks for all you do for our family. 

       -A

Marriage Letters: Patience

Join me and Q, along with Amber@The Run A Muck as we write our Marriage Letters every Monday.  

Q,
      How do I write a "love" letter to you about patience after a day of fighting.  Our relationship takes a lot of patience.  I don't even know what to say.  It's Sunday so technically I can wait to write this tomorrow when maybe I'm in a better mood...when maybe you don't get on my nerves so much.  I just said to you that if I can't say anything nice I probably shouldn't say anything at all.  I guess this can be my transparency post for the week.

I have to have a lot of patience with you.  You have to have a lot of patience with me.  I'm not sure you understand the demands of a stay-at-home mom and I sure don't understand the demands of a being the chaplain of the Eugene Mission.  We often plead our case to one another hoping one day the other will agree on who has the more demanding "job".

At the moment, it's your work weekend which means you are at work at 6 at night on a Sunday.  You didn't get a weekend.  I know, It stinks for me too.  At the moment, I'm listening to music while Journey plays on the table...and when I say play I mean that she is digging in my bowl of random junk trying to find things that will fit in her mouth.  I've already had to clean a whole bag of potato chips off the carpet in the den.  I'm not exaggerating when I say whole, it was the WHOLE ENTIRE BAG OF CHIPS!  You had to preach this morning.  I had to get two girls ready for church without you...which I HATE.  I'm not sure how single mom's make it.  I couldn't imagine life without you.  We don't have horrible lives.  We are actually blessed.  Sometimes I just let the little things get to me.


I'm not sure how much this was about patience.... My emotions are on my sleeve and running wild tonight.  Days like today I need you to have patience with me.  I need you to listen to me rant and rave about silly things that you can't fix.  I need to be able to let out some of this frustration with you so that I don't hold it in and take it out on the kids when it's not their fault.  If I can't be honest with you, who can I be honest with?  These days I feel like I share everything.  My kids, my home, my husband, my life...I feel like the boundary lines are so thin I can't see them anymore.  You say we are living more like Jesus now than ever.  I just want to be able to curl up beside you, and only you.  I want to be able to tell you my secrets, only you.  I want to lay in bed and giggle as we talk about the day after the kids are asleep.  I don't want to lose all this as we search to find out what it means to be Jesus to this community.   I need you.
                   -A

Marriage Letters: Opposites Attract

Join me and Q, along with Amber from The Run a Muck by writing  Marriage Letters every Monday.

Q,
  Those words couldn't be more true for us.  Opposites Attract.  In some ways more than others.  I'm sure of it, that you're the one who has to compromise the most.  I'm pretty stubborn and you are more laid back (for the most part).  I say for the most part because just the other day we were trying to plan a one day road trip to the Redwoods.  It's 4 1/2 hours there and 4 1/2 back.  I said, "Lets do this!" and you said, "Audrey, that's 9 hours for the girls to be in the car in one day."  Oh, yeah...that could be a problem.  I seem to jump into things when you are the one to really think things through.  I'm so glad you are the one who thinks straight.  I'm sure I could have talked you into the adventure (because you love a good adventure) and then we would have been 4 hours away from home with 2 really fussy girls.  At that point It would have hit me that maybe that wasn't a good idea.  I would have no solution and you would come in and save the day.  Thanks for thinking ahead, babe.  (But seriously, lets plan a 2 day trip to see the Redwoods soon!)

I'm pretty sure I'm the paranoid one.  Flying with our girls stresses me out more than anything in this world.  Ok, maybe it's not the actual flying.  It's more of taking that first step into the airport until we get on the plane.  I'm terrified of what might happen if I take my eyes off either of our girls at any point in time.  This tends to be a problem now that we have 2 kids.  Before I could be the parent that was latched onto the one kid.  Now, I stress you out by telling you not to take your eyes off the other kid. If she does take one step away from you SHE COULD BE ABDUCTED! ok, I'm VERY paranoid around a large crowd when it comes to our girls. You tend to bring us balance.

How about all the other little things like the fact that I would vacation at the beach EVERY single year when you prefer the mountains.  It's our hot/cold issue.  You are always 100 degrees and I'm always freezing.  You always want the air on and I always want the heater.  We really need one of those cars where we each can control our own temperature.

I'm glad I have you in my life to bring balance and stability.  You're calm and I lose my temper.  You're strong and I'm so weak.  You're thoughtful when I can be inconsiderate.  Thanks for being YOU!
                                                                   -A

Marriage Letters: let's just be honest

Join me along with my Husband Q, and Amber @The Run a Muck, as we work hard to preserve marriage by writing marriage letters. There may be only a handful of us doing it, but if you’ve written a letter or a post for your spouse, link up on The Run a Muck and leave me a comment here.  I would love to hear your story.

Q,
   Let's just be honest, life is hard sometimes. You know me, and know that I paint the picture like it really is...I wear my heart on my sleeve, which is not always a good thing. I know I'm hard to love sometimes. I'm extremely selfish, and I know in a relationship I need to put you first. I find this a battle within, like Saturday when I turned down the radio when you were "singing"...even though I swear I didn't hear you. I just hated the song you so happened to love.  Sometimes we are polar opposites.  Sometimes we fight...argue... bicker.. have disagreements in front of other people because I can't hold my tongue and you love a good debate. ;)  I need to work on that...

Me pregnant with baby #2 :)

  Let's be honest, everyone said that marriage was hard. We got married and thought "wow, this is easy." I think it's about expectations.  We expected it to be harder. Maybe it was that we dated 7 years...or was it 8...I lost count.  Dating was what was so hard.  It isn't always easy now but we make it work.

  On the other hand, it seems that I kept hearing people talk about the joys of parenthood. Parenthood is H-A-R-D!  I will never forget those first few weeks/months after having Deci.  I'm not sure how much of it was us not knowing what we were doing or having a colicky/acid reflux/strong-willed baby... but we made it! We even had child number 2!  Let's be honest, having kids is a roller coaster ride, some days we want to get off and some days we can't get enough.  It's challenging and rewarding.  My favorite thing is Saturday mornings when you don't have to work and we all end up in our bed early in the morning. (Except this past Saturday when clearly we needed more sleep.  Why didn't the girls get the memo?)

   We are making it babe, living life 2,000+ miles away from Sweet Home Alabama....away from life as we knew it....away from friends and family....  We knew this would be hard and it is, but I am SO glad that I'm here with you!

                                                                                                                          -A

Marriage Letters: Q and A

One of my favorite blogs is The Run a Muck. Her name is Amber. Erin, her sister, and I were college roommates for one semester at The University of North Alabama. Amber and her husband Seth have started writing Marriage letters on Mondays and encouraging others to do the same.  I LOVE the idea. So today, since it's Monday, I thought I would join.

Q,
          Wow, where do I start...  maybe just saying that I love you.  I really do. What a wild a crazy (almost) 15 years we've been together. I can't believe I met you at 15.  I remember holding your hand while we were having "prayer around the poll" and thinking that I wanted to marry a man like you. I actually wrote it in my journal. I don't think that at 15 I really knew that I wanted to marry you. I know that because we started dating when we were both very immature we had a rocky start but it makes our story and I love that.  I love that you chose me. I love that through our hard times we learned what true love really is. I love that I can trust you 100%. You provide me and our family security. I know our relationship isn't perfect but I do know that our love is real. You are my best friend. I can tell you anything. I'm quirky most days and sometimes I get tired of being around people but you are my constant. I can't be around you enough. Yeah, you get on my nerves sometimes but I still want you near.  Oh and I do need breaks from you occasionally but I always am excited about getting back to you.  I love the father you are to our two girls. I love that you like taking them to work with you and on daddy/daughter dates. Thanks for putting up with me. Thanks for constant love even when I'm not so lovable. Thanks for listening to God and leading our family where He has called us. That is the man I fell in love with and the man I'm still in love with today. The man that follows God's voice.
   -A