Tuesday, June 23, 2009

This world has nothing for me and this world has everything

Random thoughts time! I haven't blogged in a while except for posting picture. I find it hard because I love to journal so much but I know not all of y'all would like to know every detail of my life. (Oh, how I could blog everyday, every detail.) If you are around me enough you will know that I love to talk...about anything. I LOVE details. Anyways, I'm sidetracked... I know not everything is so important that I should put it on here (like the fact that Me, Q, Deci, my mom, cousin Erica, Her husband and two kids have had the same virus this past week). I do just feel like sitting for a while blogging about my thoughts from the past few weeks about this world.

A few events have happened, really over the past few months that have really made me and Q stop in our tracks and have to think. It's hard for me to separate people and Sin. Q finds it a little easier but if you know us you will know that he is the compassionate one. I was talking with two close friends last night about how when we had this virus Q likes for me to baby him and I have a really hard time taking care of him when he's sick. I lack compassion sometimes. (Sorry Q) :) While Driving the other day thinking about a certain situation that just happened I thought about how this world is so corrupted. I started singing this song that I've heard forever but can't think of who sings it or the rest of the words. (yes, I've tried google) It says "This world has nothing for me, but this world has everything." It just reminds me that this world does have EVERYTHING that you could think that you want but really it doesn't have anything that will bring you real joy, real peace. Maybe for a moment but not for long.

At lifepoint (Albertville) we have been going through the book of Matthew and the sermon series has been Inside Out. We sing "From the Inside Out" by Hillsong. It's one of my favorite songs right now. It's a prayer really for God to change us from the inside out. Sometimes I can look clean enough on the outside but so ugly on the inside. I know it's a constant battle with me. I know all this "talk" can sound so good on paper like I have it all together but really I struggle more than I should. It's so easy for me to share my thoughts but so hard sometimes for me to act on them.

Q has me reading a book he just finished that he says changed the way he thinks. It's called "The irresistible Revolution, living as an ordinary radical." by Shane Claiborne. He called me from youth camp and told me that I had to read this book and that we were going to have to talk about getting rid of some stuff and living on less. I started reading a few days ago and I'm loving this book. It's a man that grew up in Tennessee, moved to a big city up north (sorry can't think of it now). He lives in a house with other people that hang out with the homeless. They really are acting on what they believe and it's really challenged us. Not that we are going to go out and sell our trailer, cars, clothes but I really do want to start taking big steps in becoming more of who God has called me to be. I'm not there by far. I really struggle with being selfish and negative. I forget so easily where I've come from. The guy that wrote this book went to help Mother Teresa for a summer. He actually met her. He likes to quote her a lot. I'll end with a quote from her that I got out of the book.

"Following Jesus is simple, but not easy.

Love until it hurts and then love more."

-Mother Teresa

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