Sunday, April 15, 2012

Wednesday's...I hate em'

 So...the post below I wrote on Wednesday:

Wow, where do I start...  Today's been hectic.  I can not tell you very much productive stuff that's gone on in this house today.  I hate Wednesdays.  There I said it.  I actually say it a lot but there, I've made it public to you bloggers.  Wednesday's start whenever the girls feel like waking up but this morning I woke up at 7:30 and heard silence so I decided to sit in the den and read.  Low and behold Q woke up, then Journey, then Deci...all within 5minutes after I got up so I didn't get to read.  We ate breakfast and took showers then Q leaves for work at 10. So, we get 2 hours with him on Wednesdays. (ok, don't feel too sorry for me.  He has a long day also.) My friend, Kylee came by this morning, which I am SO grateful for.  She is such a blessing to me.  She's one of those friends who just wants to be around you to help and learn.  She doesn't judge me and there is freedom in this (me) over insecure girl. So, we had coffee and tried to have a conversation while Journey pitched a HUGE fit.  She's just now learning this and it's actually HILARIOUS! Just a few days ago Q and I sat laughing at her while she jumped up and down screaming because she didn't want to wear a shirt! HILARIOUS, I tell you.  So Journey was screaming and Deci was just wanting attention as always, bless her.  She can never get enough attention.  I might add that she is telling Kylee the story about how I got pulled over by a policeman on the way to Portland a few months ago! That girl has a great memory.  Kylee leaves at 12:30 and I am so grateful for our time because that means 2 hours less that I'm in this house alone with 2 mini me's. We talk about how it's hard having kids, especially living 2,800 miles away from family.  Kylee is married but they don't have kids yet.  She's from Ohio so she understands this life, living away from family.  She encourages me to blog more about this life away from family and life with kids.  She wants to learn...she wants to soak it up like a sponge. I love this and I wish before I had kids I would have spent more time with moms with kids.  Maybe I would know more about what in the world you do with kids everyday! ha!

  Anyways, so I laid Journey down.  Played Barbie's with Deci for seriously 5 minutes.  I honestly hate playing barbies.   Then it's ME time and Deci gets to watch T.V.  1/2 way through working on a blog post the internet goes out which means so does netflix that Deci is watching. :( So, Deci once again is begging me to play with her.  (seriously, people, I promise I play with the girl).  Today, I just didn't feel like playing with her.  I just wanted to sit and watch T.V. all day...I wanted to read.  To take a nap.  This is all a sign that I need a break because honestly, I'm not the perfect mom but I do play with them, I do usually clean something everyday,and I'm not always a couch potato.  Q and I had a conversation not too long ago about how I need a break at least once a week.  Gah, I know.  How selfish can I be?? I know that may seem like a lot but I just need me time.  So, today, I let the house go.  I let the kids go WILD.  I didn't clean...ok, maybe I did load the dishwasher and load the washing machine...but that's it.  I didn't "cook" food.  I just warmed up left overs for every meal.  I didn't play with my kids much today (eeeek, they played by their self?? What?).  I let them watch too much T.V.  (Even with netflix out we watched a DVD).  I feel like a horrible mom but it's ok.  I know I'm not "horrible" and I think one day like this every now and then will be okay... I think... :/

So, my internet is still out.  I'm currently typing this on a notepad on the computer and I will later copy and paste onto the blog.  I have been reading the 7 book (that I talked about before) today A LOT.  The funny thing is I'm currently reading the part where she gives up media for a month...she checks her email and a few things but not FB, Twitter, or her blogs. She's not watching T.V. etc..  It's funny
because it's killing me that I'm sitting home along and all I want to is blog or get on FaceBook!!!  AHHHH!  I guess I've become too attached.  I really should be reading, knitting, cleaning...(the kids are asleep)  But I'm learning so much through this 7 book.  It's exactly the book I needed right now.  I miss home, especially this past week when our close friends, Neal and April moved back to Alabama for their baby Knox. To be around long time friends and family for help as the prepare for the next surgery. I was actually working on a post about them when the internet went out. So, I'm here... being transparent...trying not to complain too much because I have SOOOOO much to be grateful for and so much God is doing in our lives.  He's changing us here.  I've heard it said before, but when you meet the homeless, when you put a name with a becomes real.  I want to make a difference.  I have this one life.  I'm so afraid I'm not living up to my potential.
Lord, keep changing me.  Keep making me more like you.  Don't let me become complacent in this world.  -A

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